It’s been a long time since I’ve written.  I’ve tried to read the study, tried to decide what portions of the chapter to highlight, tried to embrace where God is leading this study.  As the leader, it’s ironic that I felt led to start this study, but now I can’t even pick up my bible.

I’ve been wrapped up in the things going on around me.  I’ve always thought I had a slight case of attention deficit disorder when it comes to, well, just about everything.  I’m notorious for starting projects and getting bored quickly.  My sister Amanda and I call it the “Look! There’s a Butterfly!” syndrome.  I honestly confess to you that I’m NOT bored with this study.  I’m just having a hard time finding God’s direction these days.

We’re approaching the holidays and I’m missing my friend Christina and my brother a lot right now.  I’ve started a new jewelry business.  I’m spending lots of time with my friends and working more hours at Starbucks.  We’re facing the possibility of having to put our beloved dog Bogey down.  Yeah, all of this causes distraction but what’s another common denominator?  ME.

The other day I was in my car, praying so hard for God to SAY SOMETHING to me.  I have felt so distanced, so disconnected from His sweet presence and from His love that I’ve been feeling very alone lately.  I started praying, confessing sin and asking Him what had brought me to this barren place.  Just like getting a phone call you’ve been waiting for, I very clearly heard a phrase from the other end of the line. 

It’s the sin of self importance. 

A-ha, I thought.  I have a love/hate relationship with those moments- the moments where God answers my prayers and I find I don’t like what He has to say.  But He was right on, He called it like it is.  Over the last several months, I have let my “self” become more important to me than my God.  He became another part of my life, not my life… my whole reason for being here. 

In our study, the author talks about “the fear of the Lord”.  I used to think it meant a literal fear; to be afraid of being stricken with a holy bolt of lightening.  However, the author writes:

“Fearing God doesn’t mean that we should feel the way an abused child does in the presence of a raging parent.  In the Bible, ‘fearing God’ means reverencing God’s majesty and respecting His power.”

Reading that was a wake-up call for me.  How do I expect to hear God’s leading when I don’t let Him have His rightful place in my life?  When my relationship is right with God- Him as my Father, me as His child- life is so much more beautiful.  The minute I step out from under His love and authority, I chase that butterfly all the way to a place of independance that is very lonely and a breeding ground for trouble.

So, this week my prayer is that I might decrease and He will increase in my life.  I so need God’s care over me; I need his Shepherd’s staff to guide and protect me.  Most of all, I am desperate for His direction and guidance as I walk into this next season of my life.  I want to be like Samuel- a child who had a waiting heart that was ready to absorb whatever knowledge God wanted to impart to him.  

Please pray this along with me as I get back on track with this study, and with my own life. This is the prayer at the end of the chapter- I know I couldn’t have said it better myself…

Father, I thank You for the great privilege of being Your child.  I reverence Your majesty and power.  Lord, as I think about what it means to have a simple relationship with You, remind me of the childlike characteristics You want to see in me. Help me put aside my traditions and religious prejudices so that I will be completely willing to receive both Your message and the way You want to give it to me.  Then help me respond to You like a child- obediantly, spontaneously, and wholeheartedly.  Amen. 

Our study this week finds our author sharing an experience she had during worship one Sunday.  As the music started, she noticed out of the corner of her eye a young woman who was truly pouring out her praise to God.  The girl was dancing, moving, lifting her hands to the heavens… she worshipped shamelessly and with abandon.  Despite her mother’s best efforts to rein her in, the young woman praised before an audience of One, not caring what anyone else thought.  Those around her may have been embarrassed, for her or of her, but she let nothing stop her.

The author soon found out that the girl was much younger emotionally and mentally than she was physically.  Her mind and spirit was that of a someone much younger, so she approached her God as a child would- with a pure heart.

Our author goes on to talk about the importance of coming to the Lord as a child would.  Our study is centered around a young boy who began to hear from God even before He really knew the magnitude of what was going on.  In the beginning of Samuel’s story, we know that he was just a boy when God sought him out.  Take that in for a moment.  God could have chosen any strong, capable man or woman of that time to hear His direction.  However, He passed by all of the grown ups in Israel and set His sights on sweet little Samuel.   

The first part of I Samuel 3:7 says that Samuel “did not yet know the Lord”.  He knew OF God, yet but hadn’t yet had intimate experience of Him.  He didn’t have baggage from his past to cloud his perception… he was a “novice willing to learn”. 

As we begin our journey into Samuel’s story, we need to ask ourselves if we possess the same childlike simplicity.  Do we stand in awe of the Creator of the universe?  Have we asked Him to show us His magnitude?  Do we believe He is really all powerful and all knowing?  Do we see Him as our Father, and ourselves as His child? 

Take time this week to return to your roots.  Return to a childlike faith where your past doesn’t deaden your ability to hear.  Strain your ear to listen for His voice, His songs of love sung over His much loved child.  Return to innocence of spirit and a heart of trust as we begin to understand what it means to “fear” the Lord.  It is only in this place of silent expectation that we hear His words of hope and healing.

“Dear Father, Your Word calls me “child”, yet I sometimes act as Your peer.  I forget that your magnitude is larger than I can dream, and your ways are so much higher than mine.  Help me to return to a season of childhood, where I come to you believing that You are what Your Word says You are.  May I be astounded at your greatness.  I stand in awe of You…. Amen.”

My apologies, everyone.  Please forgive me for not getting us rolling sooner.  The last few weeks have been crazy, and I haven’t been managing my time well.  However, I got my book in the mail and after reading the introduction and starting the first chapter, I’m really excited to get started!

Our study is centered on the concept of preparing our hearts to hear from God, and is taken from the story of Samuel- a person who began hearing from God as a young boy.   Our author, Priscilla Shirer, began searching scripture during a time in her life when she was desperate for some direction and guidance from her Heavenly Father.  She was drawn to Samuel’s story- a story of a regular person who had an intimate connection with the Lord, and who followed His voice. 

Before we go any further, please know that we’re not doing this study so we can start hearing voices in our heads!  God has many things to say to us about our lives- through His Word, through other people, and through circumstances around us.  Your heart may hear Him speaking wisdom into a particular situation, or you might literally hear a voice that says “STOP” or “WAIT!” The goal of our study is to get us to the place where we are experiencing true intimacy with God, where we feel so close to Him that we sense His guidance and direction- and we follow it.

Many of us depend solely on others to spoon feed us when it comes to hearing from God.  We think because we’re not smart enough or “holy enough”, we can’t hear God’s direction on our own.  We miss out so much when we do that!  God has a special, personalized message to speak to us for our specific needs and struggles.  We only have to prepare ourselves to receive it.

So, I ask you today what your hopes are for this study.  Is there something in your life you need help with?  A decision you need to make?  A struggle that you’re going through that no one else understands?  Do you need wisdom?   Please feel free to share what you are seeking God for right now.   He has a plan for your life that includes more hope, grace, and purpose than you can ever imagine.  Take a moment to ask yourself what you need from Him right now, and how you can turn that around to bring Him glory.  As we begin our time together, let’s pray that we stay teachable and receptive to what He is saying to us through our study.

I can’t wait to see where we all end up.

“Dear Father, I come to you with a humble and open heart.  Your Word says that a sheep knows the voice of her shepherd, and I want to know when you are speaking to me.  I need to hear from you Lord.  Please prepare my heart, mind, and spirit to receive what You have for me through this study.  In Your Name we pray, Amen.”